Friday's Crayon

Well today it's this...

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Only me...

So we took our clients to a hockey game tonight. When all of a sudden I feel a rushing urge in my backside. Ya know the kind... that you hope doesn't happen in public. Or on a new date! Well hey I've worked there long enough now so I just said "I have to go to the biffy, I'll be back shortly" No problem. So I head off to the 'powder room', rushing by Penninsula Panther fans. I make my way past the so called security guards (who by the way are in their 60's or so! lol)

"aahh there it is!" I see it, the sign that tells me my backside discomfort will soon be forgotten. I rush in to the last stall, take a double glance cuz the tiolet seat was in the "up" position. Didn't think anytihg else of it. Sat down... started my thing. I could describe in great detail, but I'll leave that as a request. Some of you (nutmeg inparticular) might want the hard core details of the "moving" experience!

So I'm there for oooohh I don't know 10 mins, hey you don't want to strain yourself that's how you get into trouble! I hear the door open and this little kid says "Daddy can I go pee in this one?"

DADDY??? What the fuck!!! I thought 'naw maybe he came into the woman's by mistake' but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense... my tiolet seat was up, like how men use it when the piss in it!!!!!!!!!!!! Yet I didn't notice the urinals either when I rushed in. So I completed my duty and waited until I heard silence. Flushed, walked out and walked right into a man zipping up his fly in front of the urinal!!! I said "oops I was in the wrong washroom! teehee!" And to top it off he was young and good looking! Then on my way out the door another man was walking in! I just pulled the "oops" thing again and ran off with my face flushed red with embarrasment. This could only happen to me I swear!

Thursday's Colour of the day

I check out the 'rejected crayon' link from Cher's blog. I decided that everyday for a week I'm going see what crayon I am. According to my pink undies today I am:

You are

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/rejectedcrayonquiz/">What Rejected Crayon Are You?

So by the end of the week we'll see what colour spectrum of crayons my undies provide me with. Until tomorrow ta ta for now!

Tough Titty said the Kitty when I hadn't done a ditty!

In blog world (or Tanya's world) ditty means blog...not song, like in the music world. Just wanted to make that clear!Well it seems I'm getting a high demand here! Well, maybe I need to brainstorm and think of something gooooooooooood to blog about. You guys miss me? I think you're the only 2 that comment or even read my blog! Hmmm have to get in the mind frame of the Tanya you all know. This way I can try and make y'all LYAO. Could you imagine being assless? Like Hank Hill, he has a medical condition he does not have an ass, (yet he must still be able to ya know move his bowels or expell his waste products)! Seriously, have you ever seen that episode!?? No joke!

I came home toTEN (10) spots of cat barf on my carpet!!!!!!!!!!! Damnit! Maybe Buddy was bored and decided to YAK on the carpets for fun, ya know they do that sometimes! If I were a cat what would I do? Hmmm. Well first off you'd have to shmooze me out of the bedroom, cuz ya know cats are VERY flexible. I'd be in there for hours cleaning myself (wink wink). Hey a cat's gotta be clean! Afterwards I'd mozy on over to the food dish and if I didn't like what I saw I'd jump on top of the counter and help myself to your dinner that was cooking on the stove... despite the hot temp. Hey I'm no fraidy cat here!!!!!!!! I'm a WILD cat! Mmm Hmmm better believe it beeatch! After dinner I might take a dump in the box without covering it up, cuz you know I'd like to show it off. It takes alot of work to get one of those suckers out! Be proud man... be proud! Nothing better than getting into the green stuff after a nice meal too hmm? Alittle nip here and alittle nip there, stash some under the couch so I can sniff it later when noone's around. Get all high and get the munchies. Only then would I eat what was in my dish. Maybe throw around one of those little mice. They seem quite entertaining. Then cuddle up on the couch (not the cat bed you bought me) and sleep for oh I don't know alittle snooze... 8 hrs or so? Get smothered in love with kisses and hugs and squeezes, gotta love the lovin'. I'm liking this cat's life! If only...

I have my own wonder cats!

These are MY wonder cats, normally they like to lounge in PJ pants or boxer shorts but they dressed up like Jinx the wonder cat because they idle Jinx...Jinx is cool! Buddy (above) and Tigger (below) For fun the said they'd let me take pics of them in their new boxers next time! We'll save that for abother time!

DID YOU KNOW...?

-If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

-If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

-The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

-A A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

-A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

-Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

-The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

-The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

-The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

-Some lions mate over 50 times a day.(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

-Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

-The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)

-Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

-Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.(okay, so that would be a good thing)

-A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

-An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

-Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.)

-Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

-Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

I wonder who thought to look all these up... and where WOULD you find this info!!! Crazy people out there! Oh and don't worry that's not my cat. He'd be in a flaming pink cape Buddy like pink Tigger goes with the more natural colours, he'd be in taupe or something)

Autumn is the season alright!

This is my dear friend, she's wild and wacky and I love her, (but I'm not in live with her). Her name is Autumn!

We had some drinks last night and got alittle funky with the camera. We 'hammed' it up alright! Autumn's place is filled high with all this funky hippy kinda old school, but collectible items. And might I add she loves Monkeys, (note all the monkeys)

This doggie ornament is actually a FLASK!!! No shit! Here she is holding it, with her Barbie doll case from the 1930/40's.. not to mention her butterfly wings...or ears!!??

Ofcourse I had to have a pose in them too... my ass stuck out like someone getting ready to moon the world...teehee! You never know! Mahuahuhuhuhuhu!

And what's up with this dude??? Nice ahh... nice package? (between the legs)

Some other items in her kitchen...

These shells reminded me of my camel toe blog from the other day, (see the resemblence?)

Me being vain trying to take a pic in the mirror

Autumn and I goofing off some more.

More Monkeys! These yellow ones are salt and pepper shakers! lol

So I know this may seem sooo boring to people who don't know me or who don't know Autumn. But we had fun lot of fun shooting off these pics. In total we took 65 pics! lol some didn't turn out to well, and other's were plain retarded! ENJOY!

Camel Toes!

Don't ask me what inspired me to write about camel toes in the first place! I've been working too much and I guess my brain is deprived of... of well... of something! (and NOT camel toes by any means!) Last month we went to the mainland and went to the Greater Vancouver Zoo, wonderful place beautiful animals. I took millions of pics. And when we came to the camels I cracked a joke about camel toes... ofcourse who wouldn't right? So I then tried to zoom in on the camels feet lol, but we were way to far off to get a close up, this is my best shot. Afterwards looking at this pic, it seems to me the camel knew what I was doing and she is quite proud and rather pleased to be not only sharing, but showing off her CAMEL TOE! Just look at the 'look' on her face! ("I not only have one camel toe I have multiples to share with you guys" wink wink) Hey if you've got have a camel toe(s) you better be proud of 'em! OMG I know I have no life when I decide to go online and see if they have any camel toe sites! (why not they have sites for everything) This one was funny http://ctoe.bolt.com/index.html Too funny. Not that we care to look at camel toes all night long... Did you know that men can have camel toes to!! Cartoons as well!!!! What a world what a world! Seriously check out the site it'll make you LOL some of the pics are quite funny, nothing too perverted. I need life! ok so how about that canucks' game the other night??? So tell me again why I started thinkinng/typing about camel toes!!!??? Oh yeah I was browsing my pics from our trip and thought it'd be funny... I'm a GOOF! What can I say!

Roses are red, but my batteries were dead!

My honey bought me a dozen red roses last week and my batteries were dead in my cam so i didn't get around to taking any pics of them until now... Yet they're starting to wilt so I 'hung' them to dry. They were beautiful, and so very unexpected! Hmmm I wonder he did... so far nothing except 'woo' me with flowers, so that's a good thing. This is a pic of them hanging upside down 'drying'... not the best but it shows I'm not lying lol!

I spent $200 on my exhaust this morning. So much for new tires this payday. Oh well, maybe next month. The noise from my exhaust was driving me bonkers! Seriously I was goin crazy and the smell of exhaust I swear I was getting stoned on my way home from work every night! lmao "Dude... where's car?" "Dude... it's in the ditch cuz I was high off the fumes man".

Do you guys think I need a nose job? My nose seems alittle big in this photo, maybe I'm being to hard on myself. Ya think? Maybe I should get my head shrunk while I'm at it... imagine me with a sweet and petite head. Damn I'd look good hmm? My nose would be alot smaller too. Maybe I'd attract new friends this way. Reminds me of something from the movie Beetlejuice, doesn't he somehow get a shrunken head?

Smelly Trivia for the day...

My freind's cat farts all the time and this photo reminded me fo her. Her name is Stinky. Orignally it was something else but they changed it to Stinky because she apparently 'expresses' her anal glands on a regular basis. Did you know some cats actully have to be taken into the vet to have their anal glands expressed!? Most do it them selves by farting (in a way), but some an get blocked glands and I think it can get infected or painful... or something to that extent! Gross hmm? I had no toehr news to tell you, as I've been working so much nothing new has happened! lol

Such a hassel

I have to work 3pm-3am tonight! Sucks ass! There's noone else to work though so I'm stuck doing it. It's nice to have over time but such a hassel(hoff) to work so much you know? You get pooped, bitchy, and RICH! lol What a hassel(hoff) ...speaking of which, what the hell IS Hasselhoff doing these days? Posing for comically email photos? Running on the beach with the bay watch crew? Or starring in kids movies? I recall seeing a preview for some children's movie 'starring David Hasselhoff' hahaha. I'm sure he was quite the stud in his day, never did it for me though. Eeew I just thought of something that would totally turn me hoff...(no seriously), if some guy named David named his southern business Hasselhoff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao Eeww, he'd need help! NASTINESS!

Brad stopped by tonight...

So ya know Brad isn't with Angelina! He's actually got a thing wiht me ya know! I can prove it! hahahaha. I was on the set of Fight Club ya know... no really really I was! ha well in ym mind I was, but it was all in HIS head too!!!!!!!!!!!!! My name was Marla... yeah yeah Marla that's it.

Once in awhile I go through fantazing about celebs! Don't we all. A few months ago it was Jack Johnson... Mmmm Jack baby, wish he could serenade me to the bedroom! Play his guitar with nothing but his ripped jeans on...ahahahahhaha ok anyway yeah Brad Pitt, I wonder if he has a big one??? Wonder what he calls it! Maybe he calls it lil' pitter or big Brad and the boys, or maybe even the pitt stick!? lmao

All you men out there I'm goin to do a poll:
What do you call your dick!? Let me know, just out of curiosity. Pet names, nic names, whatever! (I know I'm sick, but it runs in the family teehee).

What a life carboard boxes & massages!

Cats are strange creatures. You spend money to buy them fancy toys, fluffy beds, and feline fads. Yet bring home a cardboard box and they'll love you forever! Or roll up a ball of tinfoil and my cat will run acorss the country to play with it! It's kinda like the kid thing... they'd rather play with boxes, bags, tupperware, and chocolate bar packages. Rather than their toy box filled with the coolest toys (that us adults sometimes find amusing! lol)
Then there's Buddy who's afraid of the box!
He's such a big pussy...literally. How ever did I raise him this way?? I remember when we lived with Gonzo, and Gonzo would hiss at Buddy and he'd run inot my room and puke on the floor! It took him a few weeks to leave my room! Fraidy cat! Tomorrow I'm going to get my hair trimmed and possibly highlighted, then going for an hour long massage! Mmmm how relaxing! After that I might even want to crawl into a cardboard box, curl up, and take a nap.

Tom the Turkey would like to say HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone! As he sees the the axe out of the corner of his eye! YIKES! I have to work all through thanksgiving... actually I have to work straight through from Oct3 3rd - Oct 17th Oh well someone has to do it, I can't wait for a friggin day off! Poor poor ptitful me, anyone else feel bad for me??? Oh c'mon please, some sympathy. Although it is my own fault for taking overtime.... but yeah yeah poor me.

Hi diddly hey neighbors!

So Cher will finally be proud of me for creating this blog as all I had before was my msn blog, and yes it was rather boring to some extent. I will keep it though but this one seems more creative. Some of you may wonder what's with the nutmeg thing.... and some of you know already! teehee! Cher, you and I should really get into the nutmeg business. I don't have muhc time to spend 'creating' my blog today, as I have to work AGAIN. ttfn